What is LOVE! My experience is when I had a drink, a quaalude and a line of cocaine, I was in love! With life, with you, and with myself. 15 years after my first adventure with that combination, I sat in a Motel 6 in Clovis NM, dope sick, shaking. What happened to the feeling of love?
Upon walking into the doors of recovery 4 months later, it didn’t seem to be an entrance to paradise. The curtains didn’t match; the people were a bit too strange, the coffee was served in cheap Styrofoam cups. But after a few meetings with my sponsor, reading a stupid Book called "The Big Book", something started to change. Hope & possibility of a new beginning started to build in my heart. My head fought it; you told me to keep reading, work the 12 Steps, going to meetings and to try and pass it on. I did; it was better than where I had been 6 months before. This journey has continued to open LOVE.
Last night on the 6pm Men’s Zoom mtg, people from all over the world joined in to hear my friend Fernando share on Step 4. The causes and conditions that got us here tell the same story; from detachment of feelings & inflating the ego, we loved everything: until we didn’t. GOD was gift of desperation. Today, one of LOVE. Today, I get to meet up with Walter, 92 years old, and give him his 42-year medallion! From despair and self-hatred, thanks for opening the unsuspected mysterious door to LOVE; let it rain down on you and me!