“Early on, you told me that recovery is an inside job; that my drinking and using were symptoms of a deeper problem. After 90 days, I knew you were on to something! My insides were full of doubts, fears and anxiety. How well the combination of a drink and chemical seemed to instantly transport me into another space. I called my sponsor, and we went over Bill W, Dr. Bob & Dr. Alcoholic Addict stories. They were just like me; the relief from alcohol and chemicals worked for them until they were locked in rehab or strapped down to a hospital bed! What’s up with that?
My sponsor then asked, “Do you think there’s a Power greater than drugs & alcohol?” I knew deep inside there must be; but what and how to connect?
Over the years, my sobriety has been more of an attempt to discover what doesn’t work and let it go, and to continue to embrace the Inner Spark & Eternal Light my Rabbis’ talked about when I was young.
Yesterday, my phone calls were filled with friends discussing solutions to life’s issues. Friends & family also need solutions; we all talked about the Inner Spark of Life given to us at birth. To detach from the “issue du’jour “ and connect to The Gift to overcome doubts and negativity.
At the 5:30 Big Book Mtg at Veterans Village, newcomers from rehab were wrestling with Step One. I flashed back to my early days wondering what and how to connect with the solution. When it was my turn to share, I mentioned Step One is better than Step Zero; that the A,B,C’s in How It Works build a launching pad for new life!
Years later, the song from Ten Years After, "I’m Going Home" has new meaning; instead of to my next love affair or thrill, to keep uncovering the Light Within that gets brighter and brighter with each step and meeting with you!”