Reading todays meditations, I started laughing. Then crying! Here was Dr. Paul, Chief of Staff at his hospital, sharing his story about playing God. Drinking, taking pills, shooting dope, somehow he managed to keep his job and family. But when he and his wife went up to the psych ward, they locked him up. He thought it was her who was crazy!
Like Dr. Paul, I blamed everyone else, convinced I had good reasons. My upbringing, the fashion industry, devaluation of the peso, and my wife. I was such a victim! Coming to you out of desperation, embarking on the 12 Steps with a sponsor, more got revealed. A lot more!
You told me, and you showed me how to take an inventory of my attitudes and actions that blocked connection with God. How could I make a connection if I was busy playing God myself?
Looking back at all of my relationships, especially with my dad, I cannot thank you enough for holding my hand guiding me through this journey.
Today, when I see faults in others & focus on the negative, a new thought begins; “Steve, it's time to quit playing God again! Look at what letting go has brought into your life.” Who woulda thought letting go delivers more peace, gratitude, and comforts in life? And who thought hanging out at an AA meeting would give me the fellowship I crave? It was not the paradise I'd been chasing!
I’d been looking in all of the wrong places. Instead of fighting the battle of life trying to win, ending up frightened & alone, you showed me a pathway to a new life. The door to AA could be marked Heavens Door, but who would believe it?
Thank you for welcoming me and giving me tools to pass on to others frightened & lost, looking for some help; for freedom and a slice of Heaven!