A buddy of mine said yesterday, “Steve, thanks for your daily readings, mantra and songs. They inspire me. We can’t stop the waves, but we can learn how to surf! This helps me.” Thank you Jimmy T. Much appreciate the love! The 12 Steps asks us to go back through our past to uncover causes and conditions. On my journey, my 2nd sponsor Bill Newhall told me, “Little Tottie, Know you’re loved; be good to you; just be you.” All three had me very confused!
First, I didn’t feel that I was loved. Even with 5 years sober, I was often trapped in full shame mode. I told him and he said, “just write down all of the reasons you don’t think you’re loved.” That exercise opened the Door to sweep out the negative and to open to God’s Love. Still, today, there’s some seaweed and garbage that wash up on shore; each day, I use that clean up exercise.
I can implement focusing on God’s love and the Miracles instead of the negative. When the critical mind starts, I can step aside and open to God's love.
My buddy JB in Cincinnati calls it “the little man.” Go bother someone else!
Last night at dinner with Gail and my former college roommate & his wife, we laughed like kids about our craziness in the past and our still wacky attitudes. When I showed his wife a photo of the old house we shared with assorted others, she rolled her eyes. If God doesn’t love us, how the hell did we survive? How did we manage to get the good life we have today?
Something was and must still be working in the world that’s bigger than us.
Today, I may be too old to surf, but I did learn to standup paddleboard.
Thank you for continuing to show me how to Ride the Waves; for a real life, not a fantasy.