Oh, the inspiration, power, and illusions of grandeur that came from a drink and a drug! I could do anything; it magically erased all of my fears, doubts and insecurities. With an instant effect on my psyche, who wouldn’t choose to continue to drink and/or use drugs? Then, I lost the power of choice; feeling lost, frightened and hopeless, like Bill, I discovered the morning drink. Shaking, seating, broken, now, I had to drink. Then, Something happened. It wasn’t me;
I had what you called the “gift of desperation” and I walked into a meeting. Upon leaving, I faced a new dilemma; first, “I’m worse off now, I’ve told my secret, and everyone knows.” The shame, the dent in my armor and false pride was frightening. But I also had hope; if you could do it, maybe I could too? Somehow, an unsuspected inner resource started to grow – one bringing me hope and gratitude.
Yesterday, on the beach, my good friend Kirk was setting up the chairs and welcomed me as I walked up. Others gathered around; Ken, Andre, Mattie, Ben, lots of others I recognized. Once again, this was the fellowship and solution to my problem I had been missing before recovery.
As everyone began to share, the Power of hope and gratitude started to unfold. And along with that, an inner knowledge I’ve been given a gift too precious to keep for myself; I get to share it with others like me, many still wondering if this recovery is a good or bad idea! How insane, eh??
They don’t say “keep coming back” on Maui. They say “stay!” It’s not just somewhere over the rainbow. It’s the here and now. Mahalo for the Gift!