It didn’t take long for me to notice that after getting clean and sober how little alcohol and drugs were my problem! I was irritated, upset, depressed, anxious, and lost. What happened to that terrific drive, focus and effort to push ahead? Everything was getting in my way; I was so distracted I couldn’t function. I called my sponsor. He told me I was right where I was supposed to be, saying, “Steve, good job; you’re asking to be shown the way into a faith and reliance other than your own power. Check out theGolden Books series from Father John Doe. Pick one out, get quiet and read it.” Then he hung up! I picked the one titled The Golden Book of Resentments, because I resented everything, especially myself. It helped me with Step 3 and still works when I get distracted by the events and situations with family, friends and oftentimes, my partner Gail!
Last night, after a full day in the yard, I drove to the 5:30 Men’s Mtg. at Lunch Bunch to meet up with Brian. The topic was humility, the theme of Step 7. One guy said he was proud of his humility! Someone else said they had no clue what it was about but had a hard time accepting a compliment; I stated how impressed I was the God would shed his grace and light on me! Then another read the definition of humility from the dictionary! The laughter, self-deprecating humor and love was enough of a message to shower on a newcomer, proving that none of us had a clue what the hell it was, and it’s OK! This morning, on my call to Bruce, I told him Bruce Almighty is still alive and not to let him run the show again! Thanks for continuing to show me the way and to be of help to others.
Thank you for the gift of ALL 12 Steps. They are a lifesaver! Whatever I’m going through, help me to remember that Something bigger than me brought me here and is always available to work thru my pride, ego, shame, fear, resentments and unbelief!