Reading today’s meditations about peace of mind, especially on Father’s Day, brings lots of reflection. Why did I not quit earlier? Why couldn’t I have changed my habits, actions and beliefs sooner? Why couldn’t things have worked out better? Thank God for friends in recovery who told me there is no answer sometimes to "why?"
Yet, in therapy, Paul Fisher told me to not stop asking the why questions; to write it down and share it with another, and ask for help to change. Don’t take your thoughts into the dark room, that’s where the negatives are processed! You told me to bring everything into the light to gain inner peace. Outside things do not fix an inside problem.
Yesterday Gail and I went on a 5-mile hike at Buena Vista Trail. Poorly marked, we went in the wrong direction and ended up on Rainbows Trail! Is that a bad thing? No! We walked until the next fork in the road, and surprise, got back on Buena Vista trail.
There is no straight line to peace, happiness, or security. It’s a journey.
At the 5:30 PM meeting, Jonathan spoke about his journey and coming to believe in a power other than himself. Super intelligent, a body builder whose photos were used in a campaign with Stallone for supplements, a brilliant author and computer programmer, he found an “Old Man” in the rooms to help him figure out who he really was, and what direction to take. Gail and I stayed until 10pm talking with him and his wife Liz, and left with new hope for ourselves. Going with the flow, trusting the process comes from looking at and letting go of all of the false beliefs we have about control. Faith, trust and gratitude is a far better combination than Quaaludes and a few cocktails to manage life; less excitement, but far less drama. No more who are you and how did I get here?
The 12 Steps are a design for living; just ask for a new pair of glasses and to see things through my Fathers eyes..
Blessings and love for a Happy Father’s Day!
