When doing my first inventory of my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, you told me “fear was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of my existence was shot through with it.” Being in the clothing business, I loved fabrics: linen, cotton, silk & wool. You mean that the fabric I was clothed in was a prison of FEAR? (False Evidence Appearing Real; Fuck Everything And Run). Maybe my fears were one of the major reasons I drank and drugged?
When I started to write them all down, it seemed you were right! I had a whole backpack full of them, and they had penetrated my soul. I was afraid of everything: I never had enough strength to overcome them. Then you told me I needed to believe in a Power greater than myself.
We went to meet our friends at Culinary Dropout at the Waterfront. Surrounded by all the pretty Scottsdale crowd, laughing, drinking, flirting, we all were seated and they started talking about all of the problems in the world: the Middle East, the assassination attempt, countless conspiracy theories & corruption schemes, the craziness of the Far Right & Far Left. WTF? Have I just been in the dark, hiking in the White Mountains, playing golf, enjoying meetings, the miracles of sobriety working with others and the Grace of God?
NO. I changed my focus. You’ve given me an alternative to all the noise, despair and fear in the world. YES, deep inside, SOMETHING IS greater than fear. It’s a faith in Something much greater. God, give me a double-shot of Faith.