The Pink Floyd song, Comfortably Numb, perfectly described my state of mind while using & drinking. Just a tall double Gin & Tonic, a spicy double Bloody Mary, a double shot of Tequila, a Xanax, Quaalude, line of crystal, cocaine, or any other substance magically helped treat my anxiety, my self-doubts and quieted my soul. That became my formula for living my life.
When it all quit working, all of my emotions trying to face life sober were intensified. I couldn’t take it.
I called my sponsor, and he mentioned something that, 40 years later, having sold educational software that offered replacement strategies to help students achieve success in Grades K-12 rings loud & clear.
He said, “Steve, in recovery, we are given, and we learn to use, replacement tools to change our thoughts & behaviors.
It takes work and it takes time, but just look around at the examples of those who have experienced the miracles of change.
There are new replacement tools & strategies to get through life, clean & sober. It's no mistake or fault of yours that you're here.
It's God's Grace!”
Today, instead of being trapped in negative thoughts, filled with self-doubt & self-pity, thank you for handing me a Spiritual kit of tools to adjust how I think & act. A mystical kit with the message, “Hey You, open your heart & step into Big mysterious Love!”