Today, I was reflecting back on the first time I read about partnership in the 12 Steps and Twelve Traditions.
Attempting to write out my first 4th Step, an inventory of my grudges, fears and sexual history, the paragraph on page 53 in Step Four applied to me. I had either tried to manage and be in charge, or made demands on others they couldn’t deliver. Meeting up with my sponsor, we went over my list, and I saw how much I had tried so hard to be perfect, making demands on myself, and others, trying to get the outcomes I so badly wanted. Or I just gave up.
I asked, “So now what? How do I move forward?”
He simply said, “Steve, when you walked into the rooms of recovery, you were asking for help, and your obsession for using & drinking went away. Now, do the same with all of these behaviors & ideas; simply being open & willing and admitting your part, and asking for help will lead to new freedoms. Trust the process. Recovery, like the disease, is progressive. The world of the Spirit will deliver new freedoms and goodness to you!”
Thank you for the gifts to be released; for freedom from bondage through willingness & action.