“My personal experience is that I’ve had waves of self-pity and resentment hit me for 42 years.”

my old business associates remained skeptical for a year and a half, during which I found little work. I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going.

Many of us believed surrender was a sign of weakness. We tried to control everything. But we change as we're in the program longer and longer. We learn to bend. We start to see that what is important is learning. We learn to do what's best for us and for others. To learn, we need an open mind. To bend, we must stay open. Love and care become the center of our lives. Higher Power, teach me that strength comes from knowing how and when to bend.

Experiences of darkness are good and necessary teachers. There’s a darkness where we are led by our own stupidity, the illusion of separation by living out of the false or separate self. But there’s another darkness that we’re led into by God, grace; the nature of life itself. In many ways, it really feels like the total absence of light, and thus the saints and mystics called it “the dark night.” Yet even while we may feel alone and abandoned by God, we can also sense that we have been led here intentionally. We know we’re in liminal space, betwixt and between, on the threshold—and we have to stay here until we have learned something essential. Who grows by only looking on the bright side of things? It is only when we lose our certainties that will we be able to deconstruct our false images of God to discover the Absolute Reality beneath all our egoic fantasies and fears. This is where transformation happens.

Try to look for God's leading in all your personal relationships, in all your dealings with other persons. God will help you to take care of all your relationships with people, if you are willing to let Him guide you. Rejoice that God can protect you and keep you from temptation and failure. God can protect you in all situations during the day, if you will rely on His strength and go forward. You should feel that you are entering upon the stage of success in the proper way of living. You should not doubt that better things are ahead for you. Go forward unafraid because you feel deeply safe under God's protection. I pray that God may protect and keep me as long as I try to serve Him. I pray that I may go forward today unafraid.