At a conference long ago, I heard a speaker sharing about walking into his closet asking, “Who the Hell bought all of the crazy clothes!” Lost in the illusion of alcoholism and addiction, he had lost himself. He didn’t know who he was. Working the 12 Steps in recovery, discovered someone new – himself!
Wow, that really got my attention. Who was I, really??
In the clothing business, I thought I was Pierre Cardin! Then, in Las Vegas, I thought I was Steve Wynn! Trapped in the Motel 6 in New Mexico, I sat looking in the mirror, lost. Who was I? My hopes and dreams had fizzled into a dark corner, seemingly with no way out. What had happened? Why me?
Walking into recovery, you gave me a meeting list, a Big Book and a sponsor. You showed me how to discard layers of false beliefs that covered up my true Being. Sensitive & lost, I was so frightened. It's taken a whole lifetime to shed false belifes. Better than, less than, ad infinitum.
Today, recovery is the most precious gift of LOVE. Meeting up with David at Cyclelogical Coffee yesterday, we sat at the picnic table outside and watched the clouds go by. With much craziness in the world, and my reaction to it, I detached for a few moments. David said “See, look up at the beautiful white clouds. Wondrous images of God’s Universe, slowly moving across the sky. Could you design that? All is well. We are in the flow of Life.”
Sharing stories of our adventures, we agreed on one thing. Something bigger than us has taken care of us, provided recovery, fellowship and new life. I was never in charge; humility brings gratitude. I mentioned how hard it is to be humble with an imagination, ego and pride like mine! He laughed and said, “See, the Program works, even for you! Better keep coming back!”
Thank you for surrounding me with Knights in White Satin and opening the door to a never-ending journey in Love.”
