Listening to the readings from How It Works at every meeting, “But there is One who has all power — that One is God. May you find Him now.” I wondered, what is this God thing all about? It seemed so foreign. I was Bar Mitzvahed, now I’m a man! I’m supposed to manage things all by myself, right?
Well, I seemed to manage my way right to your doorstep! Now what?? And the “Our Father Prayer” is even more puzzling. Is the next step selling flowers, handing out literature at the airport? I didn’t want to go back to drinking and using, so I called my sponsor. He listened and laughed! I screamed,
“What are you laughing about? I’m serious, what is this program all about anyway?” That’s when he said something I've never forgot, “Steve, you managed your life right into the rooms of recovery, broken & in despair. Do you think there’s a Power greater than you? You trusted the effect drugs & alcohol gave you; now you’re being asked to trust something greater.The only thing you need to know is that there is a God, and you’re not it! It’s all a matter of trust!”
We then read We Agnostics together. I had to admit I needed to let go more. I admitted I couldn't have gotten here on my own. SOMETHING carried me here; SOMETHING guided me to you. It wasn't me following my own plan
Yesterday afternoon at Safeway in Pinetop, Gail & I ran into our friend Chuck H. with 63 years clean & sober. His face lit up, and we laughed about how we used to play God, and how, sometimes still do! We both laughed and told each other to “keep coming back.” It’ has not been an overnight matter for anyone!
My faith and trust gets stronger as I continue to learn and to pass on my experience to someone else looking for help. Thank you for introducing me to SOMETHING to trust other than self.