I still despise being told what to do! Even though it may be good for me, there’s a twinge of defiance. In the readings today, like in early recovery, you told me to sit and get quiet. Quiet? Are you kidding; there’s so much noise going on up there! I called my sponsor, and he listened and said, “Steve, of course there is! Try to detach and observe those thoughts that battle for your attention. Laugh a bit; know there’s wisdom trying to break through.”
Like Terry the Hat said one day, “God took the monkey off my back, but the circus is still in town!” Today it’s not my job to manage the circus. You gave me an alternative. I can detach to discover love.
Yesterday, after the morning mtg. I met a woman who’s been struggling with the Steps. Afraid to do Step 4 and what she might discover, I shared about being told to ask for help in Step 3; to ask for help to launch into the darkness of things that bothered me. Then, one day, I got up and started writing and my hand wouldn’t stop. It all came out.
The power of prayer, with guidance from you, has turned my personal darkness into Light. Then, on the phone with my sponsor, we talked about the power of contemplative prayer. My method is to simply sit & tell God, “I don’t know, but here I am! Show me what to do next.”
Later, on the phone with a friend from Seattle, we talked about the innate Power that lies underneath our fears, thoughts, and selfish desires. Like Van Morrison sings, Reach out for Him; hell be there. What a wild spiritual trip!
Who would have thought making dinner at home with Gail would be enough?
Thank you for a solution to living a good life!