What is the game of life? Why am I losing, why do I feel so unloved & beaten? I was losing at this game – in total despair, I had lost hope. Depressed, ashamed & frightened, it took every ounce of energy, courage and strength to get out of my ’78 Chevy Van and walk into the meeting. It was April 25th, 1983. I had burned every bridge, chance & opportunity; I had been asking for help, but didn’t know from whom or what? An hour later after the meeting, getting back into my van, I really wasn’t sure what happened. Yet, a few weeks later, working with a sponsor, it became clear: I had found hope! Who delivered it? Where did it come from?
In our literature, my sponsor pointed out the word “SPARK.” It is used only 4 times; but each time, it fires a wellspring of hope.
Yesterday at Lunch Bunch, Buzz, Linda, Caroline & Connie, all from the Valley, converged together to get out of the heat. The topic was Step 8; some newcomers talked about their fears, shame and guilt. How could they admit they were so lost and frightened. How could things work out after they’d admitted how wrong they were, how badly they had F'd up?
Years ago, that was me; now, the 5 of us, together with over 200 years of sobriety, had a spark! A big one to share. HOPE.
Afterwards, at The Gym with Gail, I reflected on my journey.“Without help it is too much for us.” I remember finding the spark at the after hours clubs in NY; the Bleau Bar at the Fontainebleau; the Shark Club in Vegas and the Troubadour in LA.
Like the song says, “Watch out, you might get what you’re after!” I did, and ended up with you!?
Thank God and you for a spark that doesn’t burn down the house.
