Early on, reading the Big Book, I read about anger. I thought it said not to get angry, and I called my sponsor. “Gary, I have so much anger towards myself, my disease, and others, especially those with the same last name as me! Am I a bad person?” He laughed, and said, “Just read the black. It says “God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.’’ BEING angry is different than getting angry. Write down the who and why, and let’s talk about it.”
That wisdom and suggestion has saved me many a battle and stress. Not always. It’s taken a long time to let go of what I thought were “reasonable and rational grudges!”
Yesterday, I went to print out & mail out some documents for my son Josh. He had sent an e-mail asking to print them out “NOW” and send them certified to the IRS!. A voice in my head asked, “Where’s my Father’s Day gift? Is this it?” I called a friend, and we talked about it, got everything done, realizing that having a son raising 4 kids, working full time was my gift!
I spoke with my cousin about the deed for Bob’s condo on Maui; he needed it ASAP to file with the real estate agent. A voice in my head screamed, “That was supposed to be yours!” Again, I called someone and after a few minutes, love and compassion flowed in my heart for my brother, who had struggled with his health for many years.
I picked up Bruce Almighty and headed over to check on the progress on the ‘67 Vette. It was great to see Bud and his wife Irene, who own Select Auto Body where the car is being restored. We had a great discussion catching up; Bud said there’s been no progress, he’s still waiting for parts. “Dammit”, I thought to myself, “so how long is this going to take? It been since January!” I simply said “ok, I’m really missing the car, being at all of the shows; guess I just have to wait.” Bud responded, “Just know that it will be a brand-new car when it’s finished; in fact, better than new. He then showed us his ’70 Cuda Hemi worth $375k and said, “Steve, you’re going to be very happy.” Far better than arguing, “Hey, I want it now!”
I headed over to Z-Greek to see the gang. And what a gang it was! Old timers, newbies, girls tatted up, preppies; yep, people who normally would not mix. I was told early on “normal” is a setting on a washing machine. To quit judging and demanding and go with the flow. The food was great, the meeting a shot in the arm about not playing God. How and when do I not play God? One moment at a time! Thanks for another gift; a priceless day clean and sober!
