Last night I met up with my brother’s best friend and shook our heads over the loss of Bob. Over dinner we shared many comical, crazy stories, all part of living, trying to grow up. Bob, in deep despair over bad health, passed away in his sleep a couple of days after a family dinner. Going to Bob’s apartment, looking around with more disbelief, anger & sadness, we asked why; what else could we have done? There was no real answer. You told me early on acceptance is not approval. I must embrace that now.
Looking at my phone early this morning, I was in shock. A dear friend had just lost his son; What the hell is going on? My Rabbi had just talked about death being part of life; we wrestle with God with why, looking for an answer. But like getting sober, or not, there is no answer. It just is. The serenity prayer was the last thing on my mind when I first got sober. Today, it’s a staple in my diet, along with the 3rd, 7th & 11th step prayers. Drugs & alcohol used to work helping me deal with feelings or make them go away.
Today, with the tools, and fellowship, we paddle through them. Death is a part of life. I don't like it one bit. This afternoon at a late lunch with Fernando, Walt & June, we talked about letting go, challenges with health and trusting the One who has all power to guide us on our ride through the storms of life. I don't have to like it; but somehow need to accept it. I’m just another salty dog; thanks for a compass, 12 Steps & a crew that, each day, helps me live with purpose, and to get to a safe harbor at night.