Yesterday, gathered under the ramada at Sinai Cemetery for the memorial service for my brother, I looked up at the Star of David skylight. Both of our parents' services were here. I have been here before, clean and sober, with deep gratitude and respect for a loving God at work. Charles Chirchirillo once told me there’s no room for demands or “yeah, but” in prayer & meditation. But now, “yeah, but” is loud.
At the ceremony, Rabbi Levertov stressed the importance of embracing the Yetzer hatov (יֵצֶר הַטּוֹ ב) over Yetzer hara ( יֵצֶר הָרָע). It’s not ignoring the bad and the negative; it’s affirmation that the Good is stronger than the bad.
In Step One, I must admit that I am powerless over my brothers’ demise; now, I’m asked to trust the next stage about to unfold: to trust that goodness IS stronger than the negative, and to ask for strength and direction to walk through to the freedoms promised in the rest of the steps.
Afterwards, sitting at Chompies with 25 friends for lunch to honor Bob, many wonderful stories were shared. The Joy was bigger than sadness, even though anger and sadness were painfully present.
Denise walked in with her son and 2 granddaughters from White River. I’d worked with Denise at Sunrise Ski Area from 1986-2002, and we’ve been great friends ever since. Her granddaughter Katie, 7 years old ran up to Gail and I crying, saying “Grandpa Steve, I’m so sorry.” We hugged and cried, she sat down and ordered chicken fingers and smiled, happy to be here with everyone.
Thanks to everyone for your condolences & love. Al Stewart nailed the significance of the journey in Time Passages: trust the journey and drift into the fading light.