The first step in recovery seemed to be such a trap; it sounded like a death sentence. Powerless? I had nowhere else to turn; you told me to write down the times I couldn’t stop myself from taking a drink or using. There it was, in black & white! OK, check. Unmanageable? You told me to write down what happened that I didn’t want to have happened. I started to cry. F no, I didn’t want to be in AA; I didn’t want to be in debt; I didn’t want to be shaking, an emotional mess, unable to function. OK, check. You got me.
But instead of staying stuck in Step ONE, you guided me to the freedom in the other steps. Yesterday at pfChangs for lunch with my brother, thoughts of wonderful family times from the past surfaced. By unlocking one door, many others have opened. I know more will continue to open as I do the work and trust the process. I’m not tied to the whipping post.
Heading to my house to finish paperwork, the stress, fears and uncertainties came back. I looked around at all the photos, memories of new freedom and got everything done!
At my WNMSS home group, the raw and open share from the speaker opened the door to others who were called up to speak. A buddy got his 1-year chip after 20+ years in & out, and the miracle of the possibility of recovery was overwhelming as others stepped up to share their experience.
Arriving at Gails, we lit candles, said some prayers, ate Matzoh and read some notes from my Rabbi to celebrate the 1st night of Passover. Such a gift, this freedom from bondage; the result of acceptance, faith, trust, and doing the work.
Thanks for the freedom, no longer tied to the whipping post, unless I chose to stay tied up!