So how exactly do I deal with life’s challenges now that I’m not drinking & using? How am I supposed to meet people, have fun & get out of myself? Life used to be a blast; a Gin & Tonic, a Bloody Mary w/crisp stalk of celery & some pepper, going into the bathrooms with a girl to powder our noses, it was so much fun. Now, it’s all sort of grey. Yes, I’m sober, starting to pay my bills, and spending time raising my kids, but what about Saturday night? Remembering where my old life led me, I called my sponsor.
He answered, thank God, and reminded me what a blast really was; like a blasting cap, my life had exploded, leaving me in the dark. He said, “Steve, maybe grey is the beginning of The Light. Why don’t you write out a gratitude list, take a bag of food or a pie to a treatment center, call someone and meet them for coffee? Or, if you’re not willing, picture your old life like a blasting cap lying on the ground. Go ahead, pick it up!” Then we both laughed, the insanity of it all.
The problem today still centers in my mind. At 75 years old, 42 years clean & sober, the neon lights of Vegas, thrills of Park & 5th Avenue, allure of late nights in Old Town Scottsdale still pop up. Yet, I’ve been able to enjoy them all, and so much more, with family, friends, 12 Steps and recovery support apps.
Today, I’m feeling alright! Thank you for an alternative to picking up blasting caps!