Where can I go to get help? Am I really an alcoholic? I have nothing in common with some of these people. I called my sponsor, Gary, and said, “You know how they ask ‘if you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it’ at each meeting? I don’t know if I want what some of these people have. Some of them are really messed up!” He laughed, and asked me, “Steve, do you want what you have?” That made me laugh, and also think more about why I was going to meetings. Although clean and sober, I still was suffering with negative and dark thoughts, shame, depression, and anxiety about facing life without a chemical solution. So I answered, “F no, I don’t want what I have. Help me.” And we got started on the steps to uncover the causes & conditions making me so miserable. You don’t have to fully believe; the gift of willingness is enough for a start into the journey of getting well, and development of a new Higher Power, One close enough to guide each breath.
Thank you for my answer to Help, I need somebody.