It was 2003, I had 20 years clean & sober, and was walking across the lobby at Caesars Palace to the gift shop to sell sunglasses. The Iraq war exploded on the big screens in the sports book. Here I was, in Vegas, surrounded by people gambling, partying, working in a fun fashion business. The smoke from shock & awe was unfolding right in front of me. I took a moment and thought back; I had been thru assassinations of JFK, Martin Luther King, Malcom X, and RFK. Riots had broken out; life is so F’d up, what’s it all about anyway?
Looking at the screens again, I said the 3rd Step prayer; I asked for love & compassion for all people, and for me to accept the things I cannot change. I met people for dinner later, talking about how F’d up the world was, how scary it was, and how helpless I felt.
After dinner, I called some sponsees, connected with my sponsor, and gave it all to God. I don’t want to be trapped in fear, a grudge or resentment to; I need to know God’s love is bigger than any other situation. Underneath my struggle to manage, control and figure it out is Joy; an inner peace that comes from a connection to the Spirit that you taught me. Thank you, today, again, I will put everything in God’s hands, and walk in a faith that brings peace and joy; to give more to life than I expect or take.