Upon coming into recovery, I heard the Our Father and the Serenity Prayers. Coming from a Hebrew education & background, even though I didn’t feel connected with any God, it gave me a minute to detach. In the beginning, that detachment was filled with inner unrest & turmoil. I had a deep sense of being lost. Starting on the Steps with a sponsor, he assured me I would discover my own Higher Power. He said the only thing I need to know to start is that “There is a God and I’m not it!” Very slowly, the process began to melt what Bill W. called “the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years.”
It’s taken a lot of work in the rooms, time with my Rabbi & others, retreats & workshops to sense & build connection.
As Bill explains later, “I stood in the sunlight at last.” When the clouds come (it’s rainy in London today) the Inner Sun can still shine!
Running around the city yesterday with my son and his family, watching them raise 4 kids, ages 6-11, I went to an AA Meeting at St. George’s Orthodox Church (circa 1067 as St. Maragret’s Pattens). Seeing the AA Sign out front and the 2 greeters next to the front door, it felt like home!
Like walking into the old bars and clubs, I not only got what I needed, but, once again, I was able to share and walk away with a new sense of purpose with gratitude.
I got on the train to go meet my family at the Lyceum Theatre to see The Lion King. Taking a seat on the train, the woman next to me said, “Steve, I just saw you at the meeting. Thanks for sharing; I’m still too scared to speak!” How did that happen? The Light we sought, felt and embraced in the rooms is MEANT to share with others! Thanks for not letting the sun go down on me; and for the gift to share The Light with others who were strangers, many just moments ago.